I found a book my housemate wanted today and bought it for her (she'll pay me back, we've worked something else out for Christmas - yes, the Christmas I'm not doing). I put it on the counter and the person serving promptly knocked the drink they had all over the book.
"Do you want another book?"

I was very good and didn't say anything like "What do you think brainiac?". Instead I said, "I think that would be best, don't you?". (ok, I was a bit sarcastic).

Of course now I wonder what his drink was doing there in the first place...

In a forum I frequent, one of the participants threw this out:


People laugh at me, because I'm different; I laugh at them, because they're all the same!"



That's a sentiment I can live by.